Forgive my lack of continuity here, but insomnia robbed me of my sleep last night and I’m all but a zombie today. Of course, this gave me a chance to catch up on a backlog of Sopranos episodes I’d been meaning to watch — life without HBO deprived me of the chance to see them all as they were broadcast.
Anyway, after tuning out my email over the holiday weekend, I started sorting through the 100 plus messages when I got to work this morning. One of them was from my sister, who forwarded me a link to an old girlfriend’s MySpace page. Perhaps three week middle school fling would better define things? Regardless, she was the measuring stick of my relationship experiences for a long while, if only because she was the first serious thing I had. She also would go on to orchestrate a back-stabbing humiliation of yours truly one year later, mostly to get back at the fact I broke things off with her in the most immature manor.
Ah, youthful naiveté and vengeance on both sides — ain’t it grand?
Last I had saw of her — which was quite a few years ago — she was going out with a man at least 20 years her senior and rumor was she had given up a child for adoption. Yeah, she was a wreck, but she had really screwed with my head, so at the time, I thought she was getting what she deserved. But as time marched on and I gained wisdom, I saw that not only as that a shit outlook to have, but this pent up “forgive, but never forget” philosophy I had with those involved with the emotionally scarring event was really just keeping me bottle up more than anything.
She relocated from Jersey to Florida, and from the scarce content on her page, it seems like she’s doing well for herself. And I’m honestly glad about that. While I don’t think I’m going to reach out and get in touch, at least I’m letting the internal animosity go. In the end, everyone has the right to be happy.
Tags: Personal