I was in a good mood all day yesterday, until I tried to step off the subway at the Port Authority. Â The platform was thick with people at every door, and barely a soul moved. Â I was at the doors with a mass of humanity ready to run me down from behind at the first sign of hesitation — starting gates for the rat race, I suppose.
The doors open and I’m propelled forward, trying to jump between open spaces.  All of the sudden when I’m knocked into by someone and nearly thrown off balance.  Had I fallen, there was about a two foot difference between being launched into a wall or back towards the now-departing train.  As I pressed forward, my head filled with utterances and before my mind could send the signal to my mouth to clamp down and prevent any syllables from escaping, I curse loudly.
Happily, nothing came from this, but its just the latest incident in an ongoing trend.  These foul words have moved from the back of my mind to the front; low grumbles to softly spoken specks of spite.  I fear the day I lose complete control of my internal censor and I say something loud and vulgar enough that someone takes action against me.
Just something I’ve picked up more and more from my northern home, I suppose.
Tags: Personal